


you’re not happy

by asajjventress27



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 19:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asajjventress27/pseuds/asajjventress27
Summary: press goes home after losing to reign fc.





	you’re not happy

**Author's Note:**

> my first ever fic!

you lose again. it’s inevitable at this point, the playoffs completely out of reach after reign won.

you’re not surprised.

you can’t help but think every touch and every play just wasn’t good enough, that you’re not good enough. 

sometimes you fear that one day you won’t get the call up, an Olympic Medal.

redemption.

you see tobin has called a few times when you get to the locker room to retrieve your stuff.

you know she’ll tell you you tried your best, it wasn’t your fault.

but you don’t know whether to believe her or not so you ignore them.

the year started off well, 1-0 over Spain, only to have the next day turn out to be the worst of your life so far- the World Cup, both exciting yet upsetting. 

coming home to the nwsl, your score goal after goal after goal, only to crash and burn when your team needed it most, needed you most.  
————  
the whole team takes their time walking to the coach at the stadium, everyone wanting to sit by themselves but a few , to reflect on their individual performances, and you don’t blame them. 

yet you hear katie and lo’ giggling and whispering, probably about nothing important, but you can’t help but wish your were that care free after the most significant loss of the season thus far.

you don’t know what happened. how the team went from a 5 streak undefeated run to losing every opportunity, it’s embarrassing, you know youre better than this.

you’re more tired than usual. whether it’s the victory tours on top of the nwsl’s crazy schedule or the travelling back and forth from Portland, or re-inc work; whatever it is, it’s taking a toll on your body and mind.

you want a break. 

you hear your phone buzz a few times as the coach pulls up to the hotel. you take a quick look and see a few messages from tobin and your dad, probably telling you how well you did, the standard message that means absolutely nothing.  
————  
you let out a loud sigh as your back hits the mattress in your hotel room, your body melting into the bed.

you take out your phone and go onto Twitter, a mistake but you can’t help but want validation on a bad performance.

you’re not surprised to see fans telling you it wasn’t your fault, but they’re your fans after all, they’re essentially paid to say that. 

none of this brings you relief as you can feel tears brimming in your eyes and the lump in your throat tightening as you force yourself to not cry.

you’re stronger than this. don’t cry. 

right on cue, your phone buzzes and her face pops up, your finger hovers over the accept button.

“hey” you say, in an attempt to shield your crying.

“chris” her tone saddened and full of pity.

“don’t tobin, I’m fine, just annoyed” you can feel yourself getting angry, not at her, but your own inability to control your emotions.

“when are you coming home to me” 

“my flight is in the morning, so noon hopefully, then I leave for chicago on Thursday evening” 

the dread you feel going up against your former team knowing you’ll lose, knowing you won’t perform well. 

“don’t go if you don’t want to chris” 

“what do you mean don’t go, of course I have to go” your brow furrowed as you’re unsure to what she is insinuating.

“You need a break, you haven’t stopped since your mom died, and I know you know I’m right- it’s hard to hear, but your playoff chances are very slim, Chicago will give you a hard time, just- just come home and stay home until we leave for the first Korea game. you can come watch me kick Reigns ass.” you can hear her pleading tone through the phone, one you find hard to say no to.

“chris you’re not happy”

the second she says that you can feel a flood of tears and sobs rack though your body, you try to cover them up but what’s the point, she knows you better than you know yourself. you are unhappy, you really really are unhappy. 

“I’m so sorry, I- im so fucking happy with you tobin, I miss you so much but right now, I’m- I don’t know, unhappy with everything”. you’re still choking up on your words as you speak down the phone.

she gives you time to collect your words and thoughts, you’re surprised rachel hasn’t knocked on your hotel room door from all the noise your making.

“everything is getting to me, every little thing and I can’t stop it, I just want to be home- I hate travelling constantly, I hate going onto that pitch knowing we’ll lose, I feel like I hate myself when I shouldnt”

you know she hates it when you talk like this, the evidence in her sniffles you can hear, which makes your heart break a little bit more.

“I want us to go away somewhere, just me and you, but right now-“ her voice a tell tale sign of exasperation.

“tobin I’m not asking to leave your team right now, you guys have good games left and Chicago semi final, they need you, i understand, I can’t wait to see you play” 

your face breaks out into a wide smile at the thought of the thorns winning the championship.

“I’m going to speak to Laura when I come home and see what she thinks, call my dad as well before I leave.” 

“I can’t wait to see you chris, I love you”

“you’re so sappy tobin” as you laugh whilst speaking and can hear her chuckle

she’s always had this ability to make you feel like the most important person in the world, that you’re so loved.

you know you are when she speaks, and it just reminds you why you fell in love with her. 

“I should let you sleep honey” you’re fighting sleep yourself so you can only imagine she’s fighting it too.

“hmm okay, I love you, text me when you get on your flight and I can pick you up”

“I’ll Uber, let you sleep in longer, make the most of a day of no training”. 

you roll over to your favoured side, feeling your eyes close slowly.

“goodnight tobin, I love you”  
-—-—  
when you wake, you feel no better.

the airport full of loud noises and busy people. you manage to find a secluded corner to sit and relax before your flight is called for boarding.

on your flight, you upgrade to business class wanting to be in silence, away from the crying children and laughter of people.

the uber pulls up not too long after you call it, the guy recognises you immediately but can sense you’re not in the mood and gives you a curt smile, the standard ‘congrats on the world cup’ and gets on with the drive.

it’s just after 11 when you arrive, you enter your apartment as slowly and quietly, as you know tobin has a tendency to sleep in late. you drop your duffel bag of clothes, place your keys on the table and immediately enter your bedroom.

you already made sure to wear comfy clothes so getting into bed was not a difficult task.

she looks so peaceful, and you wonder what’s she dreaming of. you stare and stare for what feels like hours until you get restless and cuddle into her.

straightaway she curls into you, holding you in place. 

you’ve missed this. you’ve missed her.

you give up anything to have this everyday, this is all you want.

this is what makes you happy.

“hey”. her voice scratchy, but you can’t help but swoon. 

you kiss her, deep and long, putting as much love into it as you can. she responds just as hard. her arms still around you, your hands hold her face as you both pull away.

moments pass as you stare into her eyes. 

“you okay chris?’

“I’m just so happy right now love”

and you really really are.


End file.
